Etched

Happy finals week! The past few weeks of the semester have been a blur. It’s gone by so quickly. I’ve loved this semester for many reasons, but I guess the main one is what God has been teaching me and trying to instill in my heart.

I wrote not too long ago about love- and letting God’s love fully embrace me. It’s been a struggle my whole walk as a believer truly knowing the depths of His love for me. I want to know what that love looks like in my life, and am still working on it. I’m also working on loving myself a little-okay, a lot- more than I do. That’s a struggle within itself. But I digress.

Over Thanksgiving break I was reading a Christmas gift guide and came across a pretty handmade jewelry website.  I was perusing to see if there was anything in my price range and saw this:

Sadly they’re sold out of it now- glad I got it when I did! 

It was on sale, and I had a coupon code. It’s kinda comical. It was meant to be. 
The necklace got here Wednesday, on a day I needed it. It was funny how much I’d need this. I didn’t have a clue before the day I bought it just how much. 
It’s been a rough couple weeks for me. Just been plain sad and frustrated with everything. I’ve been going through the motions the last two weeks… I just don’t have the energy or desire to do otherwise. 
There is a difference in knowing I’m loved and feeling that love in my life. I know it… I know I am loved by God and friends and family. 
But right now I just don’t feel it. I just can’t.   My heart hasn’t quite got the memo. 
I know I’ll snap back and get to feeling it again. But for now I’m just focusing on muddling through finals and going home. (Even though home doesn’t sound all that lovely right now).
In these moments where I’m not really feeling it, when my heart isn’t in its best place, it’s nice to have a visual reminder. A piece of love around my neck, something I can see and wrap my fingers around. One of my struggles with love is seeing and feeling it- so having something to see right now really is helpful. It gives me a little peace. 
The necklace is hand stamped, the letters etched into the necklace. When I’m having a rough day, even a rough moment, I can run my fingers around the letters and use it as a gentle reminder of the simple truth I need to hear right now. 
The truth that I have in my head, but needs to be etched on my heart. 

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.

        ~Song of Songs 8:6

So I’ll wear this little reminder over my heart, until it’s etched and sealed on it, a reminder of the fierce and jealous love God does have for me. Some day my heart will get there in believing it, too.

Here’s my heart, Lord
Take and seal it
Seal it for thy courts above.
Up in Arms- Hillsong United. “You own the skies, and still You want my heart.”
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