FMF on a Friday, y’all. Who would’ve thunk?!? I was incapacitated basically from 7am to 11pm last night. It was lonnnng. But good. And ended with a 3 hour musical event, so I can’t say it wasn’t a fun day.
It took me a while to get an idea, but this morning something just clicked. Love when that happens.
I have good news for you, brokenhearted one: God is here in the wandering.
Those are some words from Sarah Bessey’s latest book Out of Sorts (I’ve written a lot about it, because well, it impacted me greatly). This is one of the lines that grabbed me the most: God is in the wandering.
Where can I go to get away from your spirit? You hem me in on all sides.
No matter how far I run, He’s waiting with arms wide open.
He’s waiting on me to come home. Knowing for sure that even when I wander, I will always fall back to him.
It’s not been a season of wandering for me, per se, but it’s been a season of frustration and questioning. What’s next? Am I going to find a job? Why did this happen? Why was I born into this family?
I’ve been dealing with a lot of family drama and future stressing the past couple weeks. I talk through it with my counselor, who reminds me that it feels awful to feel helpless (about the family stuff). And she’s right. I feel out of control and wandering because there’s nothing I can do to fix it. And I hate it. We’ve also talked about my need/desire to know my future plans as a connection to needing the security my family never provided… that’s another story for another post. Yay therapy for making my life make sense!
But the good news: God is here too. He’s in the frustration and questions and anger and the drama. He’s in the wandering away and the crawling back, with his arms wide open asking why can’t you see? I’ll never leave.
God is in the wandering and the everything I am– now that is good news.