wants and needs (five minute friday)

no chatting tonight. lurked instead. too tired. too mentally drained.

this week’s prompt:

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You can’t always get what you want, as the old song goes… but what if what you want is what you need?

I’ve had a brutal mental week. I wrote about it last night, if you dare read my rambles from 1 in the morning.

It started last week, after being disappointed and a little brokenhearted about something… then disappointments and broken promises and more disappointments piled one on top of the other, and I just gave up and dwelled in the sadness of it all.

I want to be mentally healthy. I need it too. I need to have some semblance of normalcy: a normal sleep schedule, instead of staying up half the night and sleeping til noon;

a normal meal schedule instead of grazing all day;

a focus on writing or looking for writing jobs instead of just giving up after rejection hits me square in the face;

a motivation to get up and get stuff done, instead of forcing myself out of bed just to go to the bathroom;

I want a lot of things. But right now, I need them too.

My wants and needs are intertwined right now: What I need most is what I want most, too… normalcy. Peace. Community. Motivation. Energy. Focus. Joy.

I’m struggling to get my needs met. I feel like I’m drowning in sadness.

I don’t just want to be well. I need it. But I don’t know how to get there right now.

 

I’ve been listening to Audrey Assad a lot this week… her voice is soothing. This hymn is a favorite.

 

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7 thoughts on “wants and needs (five minute friday)

  1. Andrew, we can all preach it, teach it, write it, tell it, but when it comes down to the wrenching, honest truth, none of the words matter. Oh I know there are times they matter and must be spoken, but then other times its just giving it all without words, spilling all you have, being vulnerable, broken and saying, yes, I need and I want. And I really believe, only because I have been at that point many times, that Jesus is loving us so completely because we are letting him see us as we are. He is not joying over our pain and lack, he is not chiding and scolding us, he is loving us in the midst of our hurt.
    I am praying for you. I am weeping with you and when you are strengthened I will rejoice with you. I will be with you wherever you are so know you are not alone. I am #70 this week and I hope it doesnt sound like i know anything.I really dont so much if the time.

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  2. I thought I was writing to Andrew! Well, consider all I said I mean for you also, Jordan. I don’t know you or what you are going through, but yes I will pray for you and please know that all of Christ’s thoughts are for you and not against you.

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  3. Pingback: all the things (11.5) – Writeable moments

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